Shame: Want to disappear. I don’t deserve better. I am not worthy. Don’t want to talk to anyone, leave me alone. Everybody is feeling these sentiments at some time in life for reasons unknown to various degrees. Rather than living in contempt attempt to investigate what causes you to feel the shame, I would suggest dissecting them and working for betterment. We are not born with shame! We are introduced to it by somebody that is lashing out their insecurities onto us. 

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.“

Guilt: “I should not have done that” OR “I should have done this.” We burn ourselves with these guilt considerations frequently. How many of us felt guilty of eating without waiting for our kids? – mom guilt 🙂 I had that too! Is it so needed to carry guilt for something so small and is not required? Feeling guilt or regret can not be changed as we bring these feelings for something that has already happened. Instead, choose how you react to the present, which will pay a better tomorrow. 

“‘All conditioned things are impermanent’ — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” – Buddha

Self-doubt: Lack of confidence creates self-doubt. This never lets you act on anything without a doubt. Acknowledging goodwill always helps practice self-compassion and come out of this habit. We need to stop asking for validation. We can never please everyone around, and we are not here to please anyone but yourself! “The same light you see in others is shining within you too because the greatest obstacle to your success is self-doubt!”. So, stop doubting and start acting!

Fear: Others’ opinion? What will they think about us? We bite the dust inside with this idea. We fear such a significant amount of judgment of others that aren’t given to us straightforwardly. We figure what others may be reasoning and act in like manner. It resembles living in a world of perception of perceptions, as Jay Shetty states. Is it safe to say that anyone is ever cheerful about living this? Then, does it even matter? after all, “LOVE is the absence of judgment” – Dalia Lama

“Fear does not prevent death; it prevents life!” – Buddha

Lack of confidence: With all these being a part of us for so long, we don’t feel confident. We are conscious starting from how we look. Is this worth living?

Read this write-up recently from a twelve-year-old, a friend’s daughter, which made me rethink if we all had this confidence …

Reflections: Why I Matter                                                                              

Many things come to my mind,

When I think of why I matter,

My family loves me,

My friends rely on me,

That’s why I matter.

When I look within myself,

I see a young girl

with a fierce spirit,

waiting for the right moment to strike,

That’s why I matter.

When I look back in History,

I see many women

who inspire me every day.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s strong sense of equality,

Frida Kahlo’s colorful mind.

Mother Teresa’s kindness and selfless service,

Harriet Tubman’s strength and will,

Rosa Park’s courage and integrity,

Marie Curie’s innovation and perseverance.

Their legacies tell me why I matter.

So when I look into my future,

I see a dream to fulfill.

A dream that

Maybe one day, someday,

I’ll change the world too!

                                                                    – by Deetya Thogarucheeti

I was in love with her strength and felt if we grown-ups are confident about our actions like this little girl, we don’t have to live with insecurities. So, I left a response to the post as – “Let her free spirit chase her wild dreams, one day another little girl will sure write this little girl’s name in her dreams!” Don’t you think?

Be confident in chasing your dreams!